5 Tips to Keep Your Kids Safe
At some point in your child’s life, you’ll find yourself in a crowded place like the mall, state fair or even Disneyland …. or maybe your child will be faced with an interaction that could impact their safety. Teaching them what to do and how to respond will help ensure your kids are safe and come home with you!
As a Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 yrs experience working with families, and specialized training in providing treatment to human trafficking and sex trafficking survivors, I’ve mentally kept a list of tips and ideas for parents to help keep their kids safe. I pray you’ll never have to even consider this reality, but it’s becoming far too common and heart breaking for too many families. We’ve taken our 3 children to Disneyland and went over all of these tips EVERY DAY before we rode the bus and entered the park. Sure, it’s meant to be the “Happiest Place on Earth” ….. until it isn’t. And, quite frankly, I wasn’t willing to even consider what that would be like. So we checked off these reminders, quizzed the kids and got some awesome eye rolls from the 5 yr old who “already knew what to do” …. but my momma heart felt so much better for reminding her anyway!
The biggest and most important tip that I have is to BE AWARE. Don’t be so lost in your cell phone or scrolling social that you don’t know what’s going on around you. Notice people and their behavior. You know what’s appropriate and “normal” in your town, so notice when something seems off. And for the love of your kids — DO NOT WORRY ABOUT OFFENDING SOMEONE. My #1 most important job is to keep my kids safe. It’s not to stroke someone’s ego or make them feel good about themselves …. we’ve become so concerned about making people happy and agreeing with what people ask, I think we’ve lost a bit of ourselves (at least some of our common sense!) in the process.
1. Teach your child what to do if someone tries to grab them. We don’t teach our kids to scream and kick …… we’ve all been at the grocery store or mall and seen a child having a tantrum being taken away by the parent. The child is screaming and crying and no one seems to take a second look at the situation. Why? Because it’s “clearly a parent” dealing with behavior. But is it?? Instead, we teach our kids to throw themselves on the ground and become limp (like their dead weight someone would have to pick up and carry) while screaming “STOP! YOU’RE NOT MY MOMMY/DADDY” (depending of course on if it’s a male or female attempting to abduct them.) THAT will get someone’s attention as hopefully bystanders will help — but I’ll also hear their cries for help. It may also be enough of a deterrent for the abductor to release them.
2. Let’s take a “selfie” …… Social media has ruined a lot of things, but it’s taught us all about the selfie and caused an entire generation to take more photos than is realistically necessary. One thing it’s helped with is having more up-to-date photos of children in the event you become separated. Heaven forbid you got separated from your child. What were they wearing this morning? What shirt? Which shoes? Was your daughter’s hair up in a pony tail or braid? Or was it in clips? When you’re in a panic, you don’t think as clearly — and those are some of the most critical minutes to find a missing or lost child. So take a photo of them on your cell phone EVERY TIME you go to a busy playground, mall, amusement park, etc. It takes almost no time at all, it’s free, and you’ll have an up-to-date photo with a detailed description of what they looked like THAT DAY to help find them. And if you don’t need it (which of course I hope you never do!) then just delete it ….. no biggie! (we’ve done it so many times now, my kids remind me to take the “safety picture”!)
3. Stranger Danger? We’ve all heard it right? And we’ve likely talked to our kids about “stranger danger” too. But are you one of those parents (like many of us) who also talk to our kids about being helpful and listening to adults?? So what happens when someone asks your child for help? What if it’s not an adult — but another child!?! Would your son or daughter know to avoid helping them?? I learned about the idea of “tricky people“ a few years ago and LOVE IT! Adults don’t ask children for help. If an adult is asking your child for help … they should NEVER agree and should find a trusted adult immediately. (That’s confusing – right? We’ll talk about that in a minute.) So if an adult or older child is asking your child for help — they just say “no, thank you.” as many times as it takes to be left alone or until they can get help. “Tricky people” are tricky. They don’t tell the kids what their intention is and most kids want to be good listeners and want to be helpful —- so we have to teach them the difference. In cases of sex trafficking and human trafficking, perpetrators often use other children/teens as “bait” because they’re less scary and kids are more likely to talk to and go with another kid! So make sure your child knows not to go with or help someone who’s “tricky” even if it’s a kid like them. How do kids know who is SAFE to talk to? When we went to Disneyland, upon entering the park every day, we’d show our kids the name tags and THAT’S how to know who to look for. Or we’d show them a security or police officer at the fair ….. or identify someone’s uniform they could go to for help.
It’s also worth saying that “ask a mom” is a pretty good back up. Especially a mom with a stroller or kiddos … if your kiddo can’t find you, and finds a mom, that momma is (likely!) going to keep your kiddo safe, find an employee or police and get them back to you!
4. Write your name and number on their arm in sharpie – and cover it with “liquid bandaid” to seal it on their arm. We did this at Disneyland — but noticed quickly that the sweat, multiple applications of suntan lotion, and spray bottles to keep cool eventually removed the safety information …. because we forgot to seal it! You can also just rewrite it …. but make sure it’s on them!! I’ve seen other professionals suggest a beaded bracelet with your phone number on it — but those are easy to come off or get lost. Someone can also take it off. It’s much harder to get off something written on their skin. Don’t worry, it’s temporary and will come off — when you’re ready. More recently, I’ve also learned that you can get custom tattoos made with a name and phone number — what a great way for kids to have a design and be safe at the same time!
5. Trust your gut!! You’ve likely seen articles or posts on Facebook or blog posts go viral after a brush with your worst nightmare …. but let’s talk about it for a minute. If someone is standing too close to you or your kids, it’s okay to ask them for more space. Be kind but firm and let them know you’re uncomfortable with how close they are to your children. Don’t worry about offending someone, your child’s safety is far more important than a stranger’s ego. Do people comment on how cute your kids are or on your toddler’s outfit when she dresses herself? That’s pretty normal and should be a fleeting interaction that lasts less then 10ish seconds before the normal person is no longer interested in you and your family. It’s the people who pay too much attention or spend too much time watching that you need to be aware of. NEVER let someone you don’t know touch or hold your child. If they ask, simply say “No, thank you.” and never be worried about offending someone. Your job isn’t to make them happy, your job is to keep your babies safe! If you’re at the grocery store or mall, and someone is still persistent, ask an employee to please contact the manager or security — this will often make someone think twice about targeting you and your family.
Here’s a quick bonus tip! Quiz your kids. This isn’t a “talk about it once” kind of deal. These are conversations we have all the time with our children. Every time we go some place new, we talk about what to do or where to go if we get separated. Every time we’re in a busy place, like Disneyland or the fair or an airport, we go over these safety rules. It’s not enough to talk about it once or twice and expect your kids to know how to handle these situations. Humans learn by repetition — and this is one time we need to repeat ourselves over and over and over.
There ya go! There’s 5 (plus a bonus!) quick and easy tips to help keep you and your family safe while you’re making amazing memories and having fun!